Seven Strawberries and a Chilli.

Now not often do I loose it and get to the point where I have so little energy my body can do nothing else but create silent tears but all it took for me today was seven strawberries and a chilli -.- !!
     I think its very important to listen to our bodies and hear the signs its telling us when - even in ordinary day life - that we are maybe over doing our limits. With many family vists and important days out, I wont lie, this week has been a struggle. After battling through getting dressed and trying to cut out a pattern for a teddy bear which is intended for a very special young girl going through an extremely difficult time and treatement!! I had lunch and suddenly burst out crying. Firstly because I had got felt all over the carpet, then there was no sweetcorn to go with my tuna jacket and then to top it all off when I went to open the fridge to get some salad and seven strawberries and a chilli flew there way and rolled all the way round the kitchen floor! By this point I was in complete hysterics until I realised the reality... that it was only seven strawberries and a chilli..
      After a nap and been comfy in pyjamas for a couple of hours - to my amusement - I have noticed that I was so tired I could have cried over anything literally anything. Its my bodies way of telling me that I'm properly parading myself into the dangerous terroraty of payback or even worse a relapse! Ironic to the first post I put but I honestly have not been going dangerously overboard but CFS comes in waves you have to watch out when it next hits! That goes to everyone. Don't overdo yourself with anything to the point where your crying over seven strawberries and a chilli. Yes, I was struggling to come up with a decent post in my utter tirednesss but I found it rather funny anways!! ;)

xx

Imagination is definitly the best form of meditation.

'Katie you have the most weird wonderful imagination'. I have never forgot been told that in the middle of an art lesson. Laid in bed resting the other day, I got rather down-hearing children singing and skipping down our road and lawns been freshly cut. All I could see was the sun light blaring on my floor. It was in the form of strips as the sun bled from the space in-between each blind. It did make a pretty pattern across my floor but I just wished I could go out and enjoy the world! I then started texting my friend and by the end of the conversation we were both on a secret tropical island drinking ice tea and cocktails! I was at peace with the world; obviously we entered the magical island through our imagination and my senses were alert hearing the sea glide back on forth along the sand and smelling the strong scent of salt from the ocean and seaweed along the beach. Our minds are strange! (Or mine anyway).
     The definition in the dictionary of imagination is as follows 'the product of imagining; a conception or mental creation, often a baseless or fanciful one' and 'the faculty of imagining or of forming mental images or concepts of what is not actually present to the senses'. As a child I always dreamed of underground slides, pink swimming pools (dont ask ha!) and a fairyland that chose humans as there sole protectors. Its fine for children to imagine but lets be honest, most adults do it too continously throughout the day just without admitting to it or awknoledging it as acceptable. As I live in a glass box, imagination is the only thing that gets me through it on my bad days. When I was quite severe I was to poorly to think, swallow or walk, my body was lifeless so coming out of that into a world where I have a quarter of my life back it has given me a new lease of life! I wouldn't get through my bad days at the moment if it was not for imagination. I dream I am an author living in an country side cottage which has pretty flowers winding around the red wooden front door! I dream that im singing on stage performing my songs in front of thousands of people! I dream that I am well enough to lay on a tropical beach with my friends!! Gone off on one now but it really is the best form of meditation!
      Lets say your not one of these people who wants to lay in total silence concentrating on breathing for half an hour a day. Personally I dont think you have too! You can lay and think about the one dream - the most special and important dream closet to your heart - and it will take you into your own space (imagination) for that time in the day when you most need it! I believe if you think hard enough about these aspirations and imagine yourself enough and how you want to get there it WILL happen. Not been able to work and play instruments or sing like I used to this is what I solely have to rely on to keep me going! And remember - a quote I got from a very dear friend to me <3 - Dont cry if the sun goes down because your tears wont let you see the stars..

I live on my ability to think like a child and dream!

xx

Modern Day Viewed From The Outside Looking In.

      Some may say that it is ironic that I have such a busy and bright background picture! Most of my days consist of endless hours indoors the house trying to gain enough energy for either an hour or a couple minutes of fresh air outdoors each day. I find it humourous that in modern day society people have grown so far away from nature and the natural order of the day! For example I was awoken the other morning by my mother rushing frantically around trying to get the painting in the bedroom done or the garden cleared or even hoovering at half past seven in the morning. I cried "Mam want on earth are you doing at this time in the morning!!' (Rather grumpily I must admit). She answered with stress permeating through her voice "I just have to get it finished Katie you just dont understand". "Dont understand! I have had to learn that things can wait and that if it takes another day to complete a task nothing happens other than it benefits your health!" She got rather angry at this and carried in the same manner all day trying to be superwoman; her heart obviously in the right place. Now in hindsight she proably agree's that another half an hour in bed and propably enjoying a teabreak would not have gone amiss. My mother is not the only person who lives like this all human beings seemed to have become accostomed to this unhealthy lifestyle in which they make there own time during the day and not following the natural order of things.
          I used to be one of them. I took it extreme there wasnt one minute in my day where I wasnt doing something. Didn't do me any good and it hasn't helped through my times been trapped in this glass box. I find it hard to relax and frustrating that I cant go out and run out to sea, the particle of sand's clinging to the skin in between my toes, or that I cant spend hours wandering aimlessly through woods and streams. Being trapped in a glass box looking from the outside of the world has shown me what is important in life. Yes, you have to sieze everymoment of the day and cherish those goodtimes we have, but just laying in your garden with the breeze blowing through your hair at one with nature is siezing the day and enjoying the natural peace and order of things just as much! So just try having 15 minutes to yourself everyday where you take in nature or just look at the world and see what an amazing world we actually live in! To bee's working hard in and out of the flowers; To cars flying down the A1 at 100 miles per hour! Just try it you might susprise yourself with interesting things you may find.

xx